Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork

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The content of this article is not part of official Warcraft lore, but has nevertheless become part of the World of Warcraft culture or community.

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Original logo.

The award-winning Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork has been tireless in their journalistic quest to bring the most important news affecting the world. These news were shown in the official videos: WoW Gameplay Trailer: Nether Drake,[1] The Burning Crusade Launch: The Video[2] and in News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal!.[3] Subtitled versions of the news can be found on the European official site.[4]

News From Outland

Introduction

In their latest segment, they turn their attention to the goings-on in some place called "Outland". Intrepid reporters of the GGG investigate the seemingly endless battle at the Dark Portal, the mysterious depletion of Zangarmarsh, and the source of a foul odor emanating from Shattrath's Lower City...[3]

Transcript

  • ESRB: Rated teen for teen.
History Re-imagined and ZoneDiscovery are played.
  • Unknown person #1: Gnomeregan Gnews. With... News Anchor Mar'Lee.
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Tank you for tunin' in. Tonight's top story be: CRISIS at da PORTAL!
CRISIS AT THE Portal
Demon onslaught hindered by Horde and Alliance forces.
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Since da portal's re-openin', multitudes a demons been pourin' tru, wid both da Horde and the Alliance tryin' to push dem back.
    On tonight's edition of Callout we talk to a demon expert, da warlock, N. Kagnito...
CALLOUT
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: We also have wid us, da self-proclaimed mouthpiece of da people, Barley McFrothbeard.
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: I say we round up all these red-eyed demon freaks and send 'em right back to Outland with their pointy tails between their sissy legs!
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: I think calling them "demons" is a gross generalization. Why does everything has to have a label? I mean, who made them the bad guys all of a sudden?
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: Oh, they only want to DESTROY AZEROTH, ya flea-brained twit!
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: Nonsense! They are just misunderstood.
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: They'll kill us all, ya gibberin' buffoon!
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: Oh, I suppose you can read their minds all of a sudden.
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: Their demonic energy corrupts and destroys!
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: I use demonic energy every day. I'm not corrupted.
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: Your eyes are glowing!
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: Well, I... I have cataracts...
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: And you have horns growing from yer—
—wait a minute. You're one of them, aren't ya? (shot sound)
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Well, dat was a close one.
  • IconSmall Orc Male.gif N. Kagnito: Aaaaaaahhhh!
  • IconSmall Dwarf Male.gif Barley McFrothbeard: (Clearing throat)
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Uh, oh, now, let's go on-location to Wendy Breezy. How you doin', Wendy?
LIVE
  • IconSmall Gnome Female.gif Wendy Breezy: Just super Mar'Lee, thanks! I'm standing here with Commander Duron, who is leading the Alliance Forces against the Burning Legion here at the Portal! Mr. Duron, tell us how you're holding up against these unending waves of demons?
  • IconSmall Human Male.gif Commander Duron: Well, Wendy, I...
  • IconSmall Gnome Female.gif Wendy Breezy: What's it's like to see your comrades gleefully dismembered by these marauding agents of evil?
  • IconSmall Human Male.gif Commander Duron: Oh, yes, oh, oh, uh, yes...
  • IconSmall Gnome Female.gif Wendy Breezy: Comrades who are undoubtedly leaving behind devastated orphans and widows!
  • IconSmall Human Male.gif Commander Duron: Maybe we should—
  • IconSmall Gnome Female.gif Wendy Breezy: How long do you think this assault will last, given that the Legion is estimated to number... in the millions?
  • IconSmall Human Male.gif Commander Duron: Sorry, but... duty calls.
  • IconSmall Gnome Female.gif Wendy Breezy: Truly a man of few words. Well, this is Wendy—
  • Unknown person #2: CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO—
PLEASE STAND BY
The commercial World of Warcraft Valentine's Day Commercial is played.
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Welcome back.
MARCH IN THE MARSH
Special enviromental report from Zangarmarsh.
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: We go now to a special enviromental report with investigator journalist, Spoggle Greasecakes.
Investigative report from Spoggle Greasecakes.
Written on the reporter's screen: Shady Ventures
Zangarmarsh
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: But what you don't know is that there are new and sinester forces at work in Outland as well, in the tranquil ecosystem of Zangarmarsh.
Ogre Ramage!
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: This large mushroom, for instance, is being robbed of its natural gifts. This unscrupulous pilfering has drastically changed not only the local ecology, but the economy as well. As you can guess, the many pro-enviromental groups are not too happy about it.
  • IconSmall Tauren Female.gif Tala Snowgraze: What do we want?
  • IconSmall Human Male.gifIconSmall NightElf Male.gifIconSmall NightElf Female.gifIconSmall Tauren Male.gifIconSmall Troll Male.gif Voices United: A clear marsh! A safe marsh!
Written on the reporter's screen: Circle of Defiance Rallying for the Cause
  • IconSmall Tauren Female.gif Tala Snowgraze: When do we want it?
  • IconSmall Human Male.gifIconSmall NightElf Male.gifIconSmall NightElf Female.gifIconSmall Tauren Male.gifIconSmall Troll Male.gif Voices United: Now!
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: I attempted to interview the ogres on the subject, but they simply play dumb.
  • IconSmall Ogre Male.gif "The Big Chopper": What ecology means? ME SMASH YOU!
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: Truly, Zangarmarsh is a land beset by conflict.Its woes come not only from the ogres, but from the secret and sinester naga as well.
  • IconSmall Tauren Female.gif Tala Snowgraze: The naga... those vile creatures have begun draining the swamp precious waters for some unknown purpose. Of course, we have vowed to stop them.
  • IconSmall Tauren Male.gif Unknown tauren #1: Stop the draining!
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: We caught up with a naga spokesmen, who had this to say:
  • IconSmall Naga Male.gif Mal'aga: Our enviromental expert assures us that our activities in Zangarmarsh are in no way harming the eviroment. Isn't that right Mr. Stickyfingers.
  • IconSmall LeperGnome Male.gif Mr. Stickyfingers: (nodded his face)
  • IconSmall Tauren Male.gif Unknown tauren #1: Stop the murder!
Written on the reporter's screen: March in the Marsh
  • IconSmall HarvestGolem.gif Unknown harvest golem #1: Unfortunately it seems the evidence is clear: unless the Cenarion Circle gets help, the region of Zangarmarsh may be doomed.
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Spoggle Greasecakes: Back to you, Mar'Lee!
  • IconSmall Succubus.gif Unknown succubus #1: mob sound
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Shoking, mon! In udda news a foul odor swept across Shattrath City and into Terokkar Forest, sickenin' all da victims in its path.
WRATH IN SHATTRATH
Unknown odor wreaks havoc on city.
  • IconSmall Khadgar.gif Khadgar: Never in all my days in Outland have I smelled such a terrible stench.
Lower City, Shattrath
  • IconSmall Khadgar.gif Khadgar: We have refugees from all over in this city, so the Light only knows where this noxious odor is emanating from.
  • IconSmall Khadgar.gif Khadgar: We do know this much: it is silent, and it is deadly.
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Strombone: Strombone was wondering, has anything like this happened before?
  • IconSmall Khadgar.gif Khadgar: The only time we had a stench like this, Tobias had whipped up some sort of rare delicacy.
Interview with Tobias
  • IconSmall Broken Male.gif Tobias the Filth Gorger: I don't know what might be causing this alleged odor, but it would have to come from an object so rare and so foul... kind of like this rotten arakkoa egg here. It's unique in that it— oh! Excuse me!
  • IconSmall Gnome Male.gif Strombone: (Vomiting)
  • IconSmall Human Boy.gif Gordie: It's a complete and total barf-o-rama! Run for your lives!
  • IconSmall Troll Male.gif Mar'Lee: Da last time I seen something like dat was at a Level 70 ETC concert. Well, dat concludes our broadcast. Dis be Ancor Mar'Lee, and dat be da news!

Downscreen news

The following news where presented in the bottom of the screen during the video:

  • BoE Index:
    • RPVT -0.37
    • Greens -203
    • Blues +2204
    • Purples + 48.6
  • Ore Index:
    • Copper -0.02
    • Tin +2.14
  • Millions of demons invade Azeroth. Horde and Alliance forces stand strong.
  • Another nether storm ravages... Netherstorm?
  • Venture Company credits record earning to hero migration from Azeroth to Outland after Dark Portal's reopening.
  • Economists concerned with influx of raw material gathered in Outland.
  • Gnomish thief captured in Tanaris, blames evil twin.
  • Breaking News! Infernal lands near Gnomeregan Gnews HQ in Shattrath City. Origin unknown.
  • Tanaris gnome's accomplice captured, blames evil triplet.
  • Wendy Breezy miraculously survives direct impact from infernal strike. Dozens of interns rushed to Sacred Hearth Medical Center in critical condition.
  • Search party for missing protesters in Zangarmarsh called off.
  • SPG -0.27
  • DEF +0.06
  • WSO +0.15
  • FWC -0.31

Notes

  • Although Strombone says "Strombone was wondering, has anything like this happened before?" in the subtitles it says: "Can you tell us if anything like this happened before?"

Characters

News Anchor

Field Reporters

Investigative Reporter

Interns

Guest appearances

Cameos

Prizes

They received the Best Show Starting with a Silent Letter (News or Comedy), Azeroth Media Awards in 2004 and 2006.[3]

References

  1. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2006-05-01. WoW Gameplay Trailer: Nether Drake (English). Retrieved on 2009-11-18.
  2. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2006-05-01. The Burning Crusade Launch: The Video (English). Retrieved on 2009-11-18.
  3. ^ a b c Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2007-04-19. (G)News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal! (English). News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal. Retrieved on 2009-07-20.
  4. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2007-04-19. Media -> Movies (English). News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal. Retrieved on 2009-11-18.