LAVA BLAST - by Pyroco
Feeling a little down? Need some energy? How about lots of energy? What about some hot, fiery incendiary energy?
Try the new LAVA BLAST from Pyroco. You'll fall in love with its sweet, refreshing taste and the raw power within. Need a quick pick me up? No problem! LAVA BLAST will rejuvenate you even at your most exhausted.
Severely injured? We've got you covered! LAVA BLAST will give you that extra energy you need to find your way to safety!*
Do you love fire? Have you ever thought about how awesome it would be to drink liquid fire? If so, you'll love new LAVA BLAST from Pyroco! Taste the burning!
*Recent studies have shown that Lava Blast may not actually assist in healing wounds in any way. There is a possibility that Lava Blast may actually cause you to bleed profusely from seemingly random orifices.
Warning: Lava Blast is not for everyone. Pregnant women, children, and women who might become pregnant or are nursing should consult their doctors before drinking Lava Blast.
Possible Side Effects May Include: Dry mouth, upset stomach, dry eyes, indigestion, back pain, bone and joint pain, slight disfiguration, internal bleeding, temporary insanity, Lava Blast addiction, magic addiction, pyromania, fear of spiders, lightning eyes, heart palpitations, fever, spontaneous child birth, lack of sleep, vulnerability to cold iron, hysteria, random songs popping into your head, asthma, demonic possession, headaches, footaches, the inability to use the letter 'R', and death.
Caution: Drinking multiple Lava Blasts in rapid succession can result in spontaneous combustion.
Try new LAVA BLAST now!