Tauren rogue

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This is a silly article.

The content of this article is not part of official Warcraft lore, but has nevertheless become part of the World of Warcraft culture or community.

Tauren rogues do exist. They are just so good you never see them. They're so stealthy that even their class choice for tauren hides! And no one has ever seen the tauren rogue trainers in Thunder Bluff.

Tauren Rogue Truths

There are certain truths having to do with tauren rogues. This page is not for the weak of heart.

Every character in WoW has a tauren rogue following them.

There are tauren rogue trainers in every city in every building on every server - they're THAT good.

The tauren were taught the art of the Rogue by Chuck Norris. Their [Kick] is therefore something to be feared.

The only reason players can defeat bosses is because tauren rogues will help you. However, if you mysteriously suffer a 500k crit when you're fighting a boss - you'll know that the rogue decided that it was too good for the boss.

Tauren rogues start at level 999.

Wannabes

Taurenroguebush.JPG

Tauren wish they could be rogues! There is one hiding in elite camouflage in this picture! You'll never find her... UNSEEN!


Tauren rogue.jpg

In a rare moment of visibility caught on camera, here is clear evidence of a tauren rogue in the act, along with his Murky accomplice!


Tauren rogue2.jpg

Here is another moment, where you can see him using sprint !

Tauren Rogue Herbalists

Even worse are tauren rogue herbalists. When you try to farm herbs for the next big Guild Raid and you can't find any - there must be a tauren rogue herbalist nearby.

Known Tauren Rogues

Tauren rogues are notoriously unseen. However, there was one historic sighting on Sunday, December 2, 2007, of what APPEARED to be the dead tauren rogue Qoi[1] of the Emerald Dream server, found in Warsong Gulch. However, the Horde denies all knowledge of tauren rogues and asserts that Qoi was an innocent Shaman who mysteriously disappeared on a previous occasion, and therefore could not have been in Warsong Gulch as a rogue. Furthermore, Cairne Bloodhoof has stated that,"The notion of tauren rogues is as preposterous as getting Drek'Thar to go outside and get some fresh air. You are all insane." If YOU witness a tauren rogue or are victimized by their uncontrolled rampages (that we are sure happen) and live, please call the Society for Telling People That Tauren Rogues Do Exist.

Secret Tauren Model Info

A tauren rogue in stealth.

Both male and female tauren models DO have Stealth animations, complete with the transparency effect. However this is probably because of the [Orb of Deception] or one of the side effects possible from an Outland engineer's teleporter. Actually, several players (mainly level 80 rogues, as only they would know) have claimed to have seen tauren rogues using stealth (Orb of Deception, supposedly) but they have also been seen using vanish, and even a few very stealthy rogue moves that only a rogue would know about.

Tauren Rouges

Far less common than the ubiquitous (if entirely unseen) tauren rogue is the tauren rouge. Famous for their eye-raising "Mulgore chapstick" special ability, what they lack in stealth, they make up for in style!

References